The Fury that Hides the Grief: Rejecting Ourselves in Relationships

Oct 03, 2021
This morning Mars in Libra moved through the exact opposition with Chiron in Aries. The Peaceful Warrior faces off with the Wounded Healer, reclaiming our ability to assert our experience, know who we are, honor our anger and embody our Sacred Masculine energy.
Where have you denied your needs for the sake of a relationship? Where have you given in to keep the peace? Where have you said yes when your inner being was singing with “Hell, NO”?
The backlash from these moves may have hit harder than usual in the past couple of days. The learning here continues to reverberate as the Sun and Mercury will pass over this same area in October.
The key question is, “Are you courageous enough to feel fully?” Many of us are learning that present time feeling is the portal to healing.
Often below the fury is grief, rivers of grief. When we don’t allow ourselves to feel the fire of our anger, we can miss finding and dipping into the waters that heal our ancient sense of separation.
Knowing what houses hold Aries and Libra in your birth chart may help you understand where in your life this is activated. If you have planets at 11˚ Aries, Libra, Capricorn, or Cancer you may resonate strongly.
If you are in your Chiron return (around ages 50-52) or have a strong Chiron in your chart, you may also relate.
The Aries - Libra polarity teaches about me vs. us, independence vs. interdependence.
Mars is our need to initiate, separate, and go forth on our quest. Without separation, we cannot experience union.
Venus is our primary need for connection through attunement with another and belonging.
Mars and Venus are the “primal pair” that represent our masculine and feminine energy. Becoming intimate with each of them within and integrating produces sovereignty.
Dominator culture has exploited, abused, repressed, violated, and siphoned feminine essence and dismissed the value of relations for as long as our oldest recorded stories. This distorted, war-like energy has harmed females, as well as males. There is nothing natural about it.
Currently, Mars in Libra and Venus in Scorpio are in each others’ signs of guardianship. This past month we have had an opportunity for integration of these two energies.
Mercury retrograde in Libra brings these dynamics into our awareness and offers opportunities for inner reflection and reset in relational dynamics.
Aries, the first sign of the zodiac, is raw and unconscious arising of life, asserting our right to be here through the birth of “I AM”. Mars in his own sign, Aries, initiates with strong energy and represents the most concentrated embodiment of masculine energy.
In dominator culture, this has often manifested as forcefulness. His archetypes are the athlete, the professional fighter, the military hero. His shadow is physical aggression and possible violence catalyzed by reactive energy.
Mars began this current 2-year cycle in his home sign, Aries, in October 2020. He is quickly approaching the halfway point of his hero’s journey where he will die and be reborn in the Sun’s light on October 9th. It is significant that he opposes Chiron at this moment and highlights our ability to reclaim our sacred masculine through initiation.
Libra is the seventh sign, opposite of Aries and halfway through the zodiacal journey, learning “ I RELATE.” This is the dawning of objective consciousness. We discover another reality through attuning and empathizing. Powerfully, we discover more of ourselves through anothers’ reflections.
Libra teaches that sometimes we need to go to the edges to understand where our center lies and what balance is. Peace flourishes when there is equal respect for individual needs in relationships. When one person is taking more than giving, or giving more than receiving, the imbalance will create dissonance until addressed.
Libran Mars is in Venus’s domain. Here, his action is inspired by beauty, harmony and justice. He wants to right the wrongs in our social relations. He is the Lawyer, the Diplomat, the Mediator, the Peaceful Warrior whose primary mode is protection. He is the Aikido master; the one who works with the flow of energy instead of force.
The shadow of Mars in Libra is being too influenced by others in the place where we must claim our desires and master our will. Mars in Libra can be over-considerate of his impact on others. He can concede too much, leave out his needs and be flooded with regret. He can get stuck in the flaccidity of indecision. He can get too involved in the business of the people he cares about. He can be the feminized man, afraid of his power.
When Mars in Libra opposes Chiron in Aries the wound of impotence, disconnection from our sacred no, the pain of not being able to protect those we love is exposed. This is the sacred wound; the one that can never heal. We can’t go back and undo it, we can only move through it and transmute our suffering through our love. We grow up spiritually through how we deal with the agony of its existence.
Chiron is a planetoid discovered in 1977 as the revolutionary energies of the 60’s were still reverberating. Named after the unusual centaur in Greek mythology, Chiron was rejected by his mother, raised in the wild, nurtured by powerful mentors and matured into a gifted teacher of many sacred arts.
Chiron reveals the wisdom of the exile who was rejected but also received the blessings to find his wisdom and be in service to others in a powerful way. He is connected to astrology, astronomy, holistic healing, divination, archery, plant medicine and the ability to survive in the natural world.
The Chironic wound is the suffering that wakes us up to the beauty of life. The pain is the alarm that shakes us out of our conditioned slumber. The ache is the key that inspires us to unlock the door of our self-imposed prison.
The wounds that will not heal but have the ability to transform could come to our attention from abuse, circumcision, PTSD from battle, addiction, a c-section, traumatic birth, or sexual violation. Yet, the root of this wound in all of its manifestations is the agony of feeling separate from Source that dawns in our first awareness that we are a separate being from our mother.
The Wounded Healer is willing to tend to the wound until it becomes a source of wisdom that illuminates our most profound medicine. And the pain of it may never go away but become a worn pathway into our tender, open heart.
Some will live their whole lives numbing that pain, ignoring that call. If you are reading this far, you are likely someone who knows this wound, has found the courage to face it and feel it until something opens. This is the crack that lets the light in. The light is the realization that external events cannot ever take away our inherent innocence, power and freedom.
Thank you to all the beings who have been willing to feel deeply and to take action to protect the holy, the innocent, the beautiful. Now is the time to remind each other of the impact of our brave acts of the heart. Even if we cannot perceive any success. Even though we make mistakes. We lash out, we misjudge and repair can be messy.
We are brave even if we feel like a failure. Even when we feel beaten down by larger forces. We are brave because we refuse to become the dominator energy. We refuse to be colonized from within. We resist. We center in the fire of pure love that can never be corrupted.
Every movement towards the protection of life, defence of the vulnerable, the resurrection of the sacred feminine, and reclamation of the sacred masculine ripples far and wide and multidimensionally now. Together we are seeding a new reality, still invisible to ordinary eyes. Soon, we will birth a new reality.
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